There is no shame in admitting that one is fickle minded. A lot of people feel compelled to do things they no longer want to, just because they said they would do it and it would hurt their ego to go back on their word. People change their minds all the time, it is better to be honest than to deceive people by putting up a charade.

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I know a friend, who I always thought was extremely independent and an ultra modern feminist (not the man-hater kind, that is not what feminism is), who loves living life on the edge and is unafraid of trying new things. So when she informed us that she was settling for an arrange marriage, I was shocked. The shock was because she is not ready for marriage, regardless of who the guy is. She was extremely conflicted about the decision but she gave in to her parents demands because some years back she had promised her folks that would would wed when she reached a certain age.

“You were a kid when you made that promise, you don’t have to fulfill it, say you changed your mind!”, I had told her.

But she felt guilty, she could not go back on her word.

Her parents were strict and they had struck a bargain with her – they would give her a few years of complete freedom and then by the end of it, she has to marry. It sounded like a great deal to her back then and she happily agreed. But the freedom the independence of a job gives you, teaches you a lot of things. She changed, but her parents didn’t. Kind of reminds me of Doctor Faustus selling his soul to the devil for 24 years of complete power at the end of which his soul would be up for eternal damnation.

This is of-course probably an extreme example. But don’t we often set ourselves up for things that at the time seem reasonable enough only to realize how wrong we were later. For example, when I was in College, everybody thought I would take up Literature seriously. Journalism was one of subjects and I was never serious about it. I told everybody that I am going to study Masters in English after graduation, but to everybody’s surprise, I took up Journalism instead. I changed my mind – big deal. Three years later I quit my Journalism job only to pursue Masters in English on the sides. Funny right? Well, I changed my mind again.

Sure, I face a lot of crap from people about being indecisive. But why should it matter? If I were unhappy, then maybe I would question my decisions, but if I am doing fine, people can say whatever they want.

Sometimes you make promises to yourself, sometimes you go back on your word, it’s all right. As long as you are not causing serious damage to anyone.

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